idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize