MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize