If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
