Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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