Please, let me fuck your mom
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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