Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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