It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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