im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize