Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
thus making me awesome and them whores
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
