the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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