Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
