He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize