I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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