Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
