I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
