Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
