if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
