Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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