FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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