Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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