Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
