dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
