I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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