yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
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