there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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