Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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