No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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