How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
