Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
