...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
