That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize
