but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
