I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize