Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
