We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
