I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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