Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
