so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
