You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
