but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm at about main and main street
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
