you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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