I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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