I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
