a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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