I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
