You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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