oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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