I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize