he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
