That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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