We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
