I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
