Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
