just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
