we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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