I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
