What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
