when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
