Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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