Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
