Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize