I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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