ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We left an ass print on the piano.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
