She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
