i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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