got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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