Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
