It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Fuck appropriateness.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
