my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
