I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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