The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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