Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
