wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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