So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
